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Dealing With The Nuances Of Mourning While Planning Your Big Day

Losing a loved one can be so emotionally devastating that it changes the whole life of people. Everyday things such as the scent of their perfume, the sound of music associated with them, and memories you had with the person can trigger grief. Things can become even more challenging when you have an event as big as a wedding on your head. From planning the seating chart to inviting the attendants, things will always remind you of their absence. You might even feel guilty for moving on from their loss. When grieving a loss and simultaneously planning your wedding, you can take multiple approaches to deal with things better.

Allow yourself to express

You are likely facing a whirlwind of emotions with your loved one passing away and your big day coming up. It is essential to communicate how you feel and lighten the load on your shoulders. Sharing your feelings of sadness, loneliness, disappointment, and guilt can make you feel better and help those around you understand your mental state better, too. Giving yourself space to grieve and accept how you feel is vital to adapt to the loss and eventually move on.

Rely on your support system

Remember that you are not alone. Planning a wedding while grieving is a big, overwhelming task. If you have too much on your plate, consider getting help from your support system. This could be anything, from enlisting your sibling’s help in dealing with catering or going to a therapist to process everything going on in your life.


Organising your thoughts, feelings, and even tasks by writing stuff down can give everything that you are facing somewhat of a tangible form. Studies have found that people can find writing and expressing themselves in the comfort of their own company cathartic. It can also offer small goals and feelings you can work on, one at a time.

Maintain a connection

Several people made some space during their wedding ceremony to honour their departed loved one. They found comfort in the symbolic presence of the person they had lost. People will often leave a seat empty or integrate a piece of clothing or accessory of their loved one into their wedding attire. That can be an effective way of reconciling immense grief with the overwhelming happiness of the moment.

Move at your own pace

When dealing with grief and planning your big day, it is alright to move at a pace you are comfortable with. This means, among other things, that you need not pressure yourself to overcome your “negative” feelings quickly. It is important to create some space for grieving, too. Taking a few days off, stepping away for a breather, and adjusting the date and size of your wedding to suit your mental space are all okay.

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